Part 9: Act IX: Apocalypse Now
Act IX: Apocalypse Now
With Dave_O and Slowbeef!
The Story Thus Far:
Ah, what's really changed? Golgo's still pursuing the vaccine and the file. Actually no one's mentioned the file in a bit, so maybe not.
Nazis, Golgo, Brazil, you get the drift.
The LP So Far:
Get ready for more nonsensical Act titles and more... oh, let's face it. More annoying side-scrolling and Pan N Zoom modes. A LOT.
Slowbeef: "Apocalypse Wow!" is more like it.
Dave_O: That was a pretty sweet movie.
Dave_O: Holy shit, is that a mountain? Or modern architecture. Who knows?
Slowbeef: The answer is "yes".
Dave_O: I think it's a pyramid and you're gonna fight mummies.
Slowbeef: Please! It'd be a lot easier than this shit.
Dave_O: Maybe you'll fight Mecha-Hitler.
Dave_O: It looks like they knew you were coming. Or the mine truck was just dropping 'em off.
Slowbeef: "We lost a bunch of landmines. Don't worry about it."
Dave_O: "Just watch your step, guys."
Slowbeef: "Also, there's this dude coming, so we're deploying a bunch of tanks. Don't worry about it, though."
Dave_O: "Don't run over the landmines, tanks." "Alright, we'll just stay in this one area until he walks by." "Okay."
Dave_O: Pan N Zoom mode in mid-air.
Dave_O: Tanks? You just fucking shot a tank with a pistol.
Slowbeef: No no, I'm glaring at the tanks.
Dave_O: Oh yeah, I forgot. You know, I'm off my game. I've been workin' and shit. But why would I work when I could play Golgo?
Like that side-scrolling section followed by a Pan N Zoom mode? Good, because this whole Act is four of each.
Dave_O: We should get paid to do this.
Slowbeef: Yeah, really.
Dave_O: It's like giving blood.
Dave_O: That guy's got a new color scheme. That's never good.
Slowbeef: I think he gave me more health than usual, though.
Dave_O: Yeah, he was filled with.... beans.
Dave_O: You think someone's gonna replace your Immortal avatar with a Golgo avatar?
Slowbeef: I don't even care. Whatever.
Dave_O: Let's rehash all our old jokes.
Slowbeef: "I hear you saw the Golgo 13 movie."
Dave_O: "Yeah, it was funny. Sonny Chiba's in it. Uh, we got.... urge to kill refill, spring leg-"
Slowbeef: Power bombs. No, wait. Eyebrows.
Dave_O: Office supply of doom.
Dave_O: This game is a big pile of gay.
Slowbeef: Wouldn't it be great if I were a sniper? And I could hit them at long range?
Dave_O: That's silly.
Dave_O: In the movie, Golgo snipes someone for looking at him.
Slowbeef: This music is so fuckin' repetitive, too. Do you think anyone in the thread will give a shit if I turn off the music? Before I do, though....
Dave_O: Honestly, in [the previous] thread, since this game got voted gold, we could post videos of us rubbing our dicks together and they'd vote it 5. As long as we had Golgo-
Slowbeef: Of all the imagery you could've picked.
Dave_O: Dun na na NA NA!
And then Krakhan joins us.
Krakhan: Instead of this music, I'm just listening to stuff from my Winamp playlist.
Slowbeef: It's smarter.
Dave_O: You're listening to music? Not our voices?
Dave_O: This is awesome. I've never seen this room before.
Krakhan: I know - it's like a whole new shade of blue.
Dave_O: It goes well with his tie.
Slowbeef: Who's this now?
Dave_O: Hitler. I'm bettin' Hitler.
A gunshot sound.
Slowbeef: What the? What?
Slowbeef: Why are they playing sad music? He's the bad guy.
I love this picture. I'll tell you why in a minute. Also, suddenly there's a helicopter sound in the background.
Slowbeef: What? Why is there a helicopter? What the fuck is going on?
Slowbeef: Who's she talking to?!
Slowbeef: WHO KEEPS SHOOTING EVERYONE?
Dave_O: Jesus, this fucking room.
I love this picture because it's happened twice and it's like Golgo is looking at you and saying, "I don't get it either. Dot dot dot dot."
Slowbeef: This guy?! I hope he gets shot!
Krakhan: Ouuuggggghhhh, dammit. Not another explosion.
Slowbeef: WHAT HELICOPTER?!
End of Act 9.